Tuesday, March 24, 2009

To Tell OR Not To Tell

So, when I got pregnant, the moment I found out, I wanted to be on the phone to everyone I knew. And, mostly I did do that, but, my third pregnancy ended in miscarriage at around 7 weeks. Even though thankfully I miscarried early I still had gotten attached to that little one and I did suffer through some difficult time of getting through the experience, making the phone calls to let people know there actually would be no baby was hard. Even harder were the calls I forgot to make or people that had heard through the grapevine of the baby but not of the miscarriage that I ended up having to explain to when they asked about the pregnancy.
Another sister recently announced the arrival of her second child. When she called, I heard my own voice, "I know it's early, but I just can't wait to tell and even if something happens, I would rather have the support."
I had said almost the exact same words! However, after miscarrying, when I got pregnant a fourth time, I held off telling anyone besides parents. I only held out to about 1o weeks, but for me that was a lifetime!! This time all was well, and things went perfect. So when I got pregnant this last time, I was hot on the phone again, I just couldn't contain it (that might have had to do more with the fact that I had 4 month old at the time and I was flabbergasted, more than I was excited!).
Anyway, I was just curious as to what others out there thought about when is a good time to let people know the good news? Are more people conservative with their announcements or do you call the minute you see that little plus sign on the stick??
Let us know!


  1. We only told family and a few very close friends--and that was around 6 weeks. We then held off until 12 weeks or so to tell others: friends, coworkers, and the like. For us, that worked out perfectly--but that doesn't mean it would work out for everyone else. I think it is a very personal decision when to tell and that people should do what they think is best for them. There is only one "bad" approach and that is to expect everyone else to do it the way "you" would. This may seem obvious; but I have seen others try to enforce their expectations on others regarding personal issues (especially when to tell if you are pregnant) and it just never works out.

  2. From a lot of things I have read it seems a general consensus is to wait until after that first doctors appointment at around 13 weeks and you hear that heartbeat. The chance of miscarriage after 13 weeks is much smaller than earlier in pregnancy. So it would really just depend on what type of person you are. If you would be totally crushed and would have a hard time talking about a miscarriage then I would suggest waiting, just to be safe. As for me when that day comes and I FINALLY have a wee one on the way I know I will have the hardest time not telling EVERYONE, but will limit myself to only a few people, just to be safe.

  3. When I first found out with my 2nd I only told my parents and in laws! I waited a while before I announced it to the world!

  4. We tried for 4 years to get pregnant and eventually had to use IVF. Everyone in our family knew were were trying for so long, so when we finally got pregnant, we called everyone within minutes of getting our first postive blood test. We were 4 weeks then and we're ALMOST 11 weeks now and going strong.

    I think it all depends on each individual pregnancy & each situation.

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